Saturday, October 7, 2006

I like him, but I don't want to

Before the official opening, we had the parade first. On our way back to school, I saw him then. He's 6 foot tall and ain't easy too miss. I saw his back and looked down on the ground. I wanted to greet him or something, but it came to me that I shouldn't really like him anyway. (I like him like him! as in like like!) I wanted to like somebody else. I really don't want to like him, but there's no one else to like that wouldn't hurt me anyway. So, I guessed that's okay because he doesn't really know what my feelings are and I'll keep it until they pass. He has someone else. I kept telling myself that. Actually, the girl was his first love, they broke up and he had 2 other girlfriends and returned to her again. And guess what? its been 2 years since they broke up. I just can't win against something like that, can I? He's not that good looking but he's very appealing. He's smart, an athlete and he's really kind. I wonder why it's not one of the reasons why I like him. I liked him because he bared his heart to me and unconsciously gave me a piece. I believe that by telling your problems, or something personal to somebody, you actually bare your heart to them and unconsciously give them a piece of it. And I received them without knowing I did. That's my big problem. He told me too much. I made measures to cut the ties between us. I ignored him and avoided him. Although we're pretty civil with each other, it's not the way it was before. I don't know anything about him now. I've cut everything off. We're just acquiantances now. We're classmates and its nothing more than that.

We were lined up inside the gym, and I saw another 6 foot tall man, quietly standing and biting his nails. He's so insecure. I don't know why. He has fair skin, almost 6 feet (he says its 5"11.75, haha), he's humble and shy. My brother said he manages the ball (basketball) pretty well, and he runs so fast. He just doesn't have enough confidence in himself. I tried to push him and I still do. He's always alone everytime I see him. No one to push him, no one to encourage him. I guessed that is what he needed most. What I can give, I'll give. He's a friend anyway. I'm pushing him now to court a friend that he likes, but he's a bit hesitant to walk up to her and talk.

As we lined up to the lobby to prepare the entrance of the cheering competition, I saw someone familiar. An alumnus. Mr. Sportsfest 2005. C'mon someone kill me. I liked him as well but I don't know the depth of that likeness I have for him. He doesn't know me. Well, I think he knows me by face, because we go in the same church but its nothing more than that. He's good looking and I have a reason to have a crush on him. He's like 18 or 19, I guess. Nothing extarordinary. So I have a crush on him and I like someone else ( and I think I like like that someone else), so what? I have no boyfriend and they're both unrequited anyway.

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