Friday, February 16, 2007

#1 let's talk about the dance tomorrow but first know that I think they don't care which I know you don't either

I'll post about tomorrow. I personally think it would be wrong for me to put things down when things are too fresh... much too fresh from my mind that things aren't that clear yet. So let's wait 'till tomorrow.

I've noticed these past few weeks that I have a favorite phrase that I usually use. There are many phrases but the meaning stands as one. It's "I'll go." I 've noticed it only these past few days. I would say "I'll go," or "I should go," or "I'll leave you," or "I'll leave you alone," or "I'll die and get a life," or "I'll go somewhere and leave you," or "I'll get out," or "I'm outta here," or "See you later," or "See you around," or "See you when I see you."

It came to me suddenly when I noticed I was making an excuse to go. I noticed I'm always making an excuse to leave. But its better to leave than to be left alone. I'm always thinking that people don't want me in their life, I'll go. They're busy paige, leave them alone. They don't want anything to do with you, so get out. You're not that important, so let them do their stuff, its more important than your life. They don't care what you do, they don't care what you want, they don't care about what you feel. In short, they don't care about you. You're nothing to them. Nothing.


This mentality had gotten me out of the most crucial times of my life. This mentality made me get over things as easy as putting a thread in a needle hole. Its easier than a needle in a haystack, isn't it? If I think of this hard enough, I wouldn't have to be hurt anymore. I already am. I would be immune to what people would think or say. I was expecting it.

"You're welcome to believe that the world is a nice, logical, rational, safe place... You'll be wrong, but that hasn't stopped anyone else who thinks the same way." -Dierdre

*I know you think I look sick in my pic up there. You're correct because I was not feeling well at all when they took that

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