Friday, April 24, 2009

The Crank meets Cranky

Before I recount whatever happened in my drunkenness at Wan Chai, please allow me to make an entry on what had happened today.

My mom, me, and my brother went out and watched a movie, Crank, a movie I found particularly okay - totally obscene and morbid but if you want to see boobies of different nationalities, and if you want to know if the silicon gel comes out if your surgical boobies got shot, then you shouldn't miss this flick. By the way, if you want to see a rifle inserted in someone else's ass, then its the movie for you, you'll totally love it. Despite all the blood, the boobies, the whores, and balls-kicking happening in the movie, it was an okay flick.

Anyway, on the way home, the jeepney passed by the village where the church I was attending before was located. I asked if all the young people walking out of the village came from the youth sector of the church. My brother reminded me that it was Friday and the youth service was usually held on a Saturday. And my mom, upon hearing our conversation, bless her heart, asked me why I don't attend church anymore. I wanted to tell her she doesn't attend anyway, so why have this conversation? Besides, if my answer about this kind of topic irks her, then why the hell bring it up? I maintain an open mind about religious conversations, I even enjoy it, as long as it the view is not one-sided. I even go to services on Christmas to hear the Cantata, and those kind of stuff.

I have a different set of views compared to my family, and since they are not at all familiar with my beliefs, they count me an atheist (which I am not) and/or a pagan (which I am not). You see, most adults, meaning older than me, think they know everything there is to know about religion. I told my mom that it is a personal thing. She got mad and said "Religion is not a personal thing! You have no right!" and went on ranting about my belief or lack thereof. If we are talking about rights, I can find you an article on the Philippine constitution about my right to choose my own religion and my set of beliefs. I can find you a verse from the bible about free will.

What irks me is the sense of righteousness people have against others who believe differently. My mother even threatened me about forcing me to become an iglesia once my father comes back from the states. The second the threat left her mouth, I hated her. She's my mom and I love her but when it comes to spiritual guidance (as she calls it) and religion, its a different story. I did not really want to have that conversation with her but she was insistent.

She asked me, "Do you pray?"

I wanted to ask, "Is that a trick question?" If I answered no, she will get mad, and berate me about how important prayer is, and be branded as an atheist. If I answered yes, I will be branded a liar, and be berated that lying is bad and all those stuff mothers say when they catch their 3 year-old kids lying.

I chose to answer yes because I know that's what she wanted to hear. She replied, "When do you pray?"

I got this all before, I answered, "Before eating, and before sleeping!" I felt like I'm in kindergarten caught in an act of stealing her classmate's crayon.

"Then why are you raising your voice?" my mom said.

"Because you won't stop! please stop... just stop.." Well, you know mothers. She didn't stop and kept murmuring about what an atheist I am, on how I burn candles on both ends, and all those stuff mothers say on the 18th century when they caught their daughters kissing behind a carriage. I did no such thing but I felt as if I did.

In my family, if they do not agree with your set of beliefs, be prepared to be branded an atheist.

When I got home, I decided to go with what they wanted in the meantime. Besides, they put food in my mouth, pay for my education, and keep me under their wings. I will go to church when they ask me to. 18 months. When I'm running my own life, - paying for my own rent, working, feeding myself - they'll know I'm really running it.

6 comments:

shadowmoon said...

Hmmm...it's really hard to discuss about something with close-minded people. Specially if they're someone we care for.
I think that, in your situation, I would simply bear the pressure and keep going. It may be hard, sometimes you'll need to vent, sometimes you'll want to simply screw everything.
Tough times we go through in our lives.

Hope you can bear this and go through without major problems.

LAN said...

thats an awesome blog you have pinned up!! keep it up

Himali said...

Hi
Good Blog Seems have more
celebrityaish.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I'm sure your mom is only looking out for your best interests because you are their responsibility while you're living with them and until you come of age.
You're pretty strong and intelligent, you can get through this. Eventually, you'll be making your own decisions about everything including housing, bills, college, etc. Just do not be so quick to grow up. Responsibilities come like clockwork. Try to enjoy your youth. :)

JecaOnline said...

"You see, most adults, meaning older than me, think they know everything there is to know about religion."Can't agree more. One Sunday Mass missed and my parents think the whole family is doomed.

Let's talk about this more some time.

Paige said...

shadowmoon: That's want I'm doing right now. Bearing the suitation.. I think that it would be the best choice for now.

LAN, Himali: thanks for commenting

Anonymous: Thanks. I needed what you said. I realized that I am their responsibility right now, while I'm living with them.

Jeca: yep, lets talk about it more next time

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